If I were going to say it, I would say it’s day dreaming on paper. I have spent my life looking out the windows, at the ceilings, and into the dark closets. It’s just how I get there it’s the way into my imagination. I don’t know if it’s right, wrong, or clever and I would go anyway. I have flown, fallen, lived, died, sank and swan away. It relaxes me to take a walk on the beach and watch the gulls. Theres a chair I sit in and watch the brothers play. Blue helps Black and Black hates him for it. I want to tell Blue to watch out for the sword, but he is supposed to have it.
They are only boys now digging up sand crabs and swimming. They will have to grow up soon, but not now, for now they can play. I watch them and I see a mighty frigate raised from the dead, a cursed sword, and brothers on the wrong side. They are having a time now ranging over the country side. They go over to whistlers spout when the tides running out for the song. Blue got on a fishing crew for the summer after Black got hurt by the horse. They are only a few summers left for them to be boys.
Blue got a spot on the Roll tide at haf pay due to his age. He struggled doing the work. He just wasn’t big enough, but after two weeks he had figured out how to get by. The boat worked in six-week runs. After the first run, Blue was given full pay and esteem from the crew. He never acted any different, big-headed or anything, and Black resented him more for it.
The winter was coming on after the second run and Mary, Blue’s Mom, decided school was in order for the boys. The boys had as much school as many of the fishermen and were of an age to start working, but Mary was relentless, so they started school and the Roll tide left Blue on shore.
The boys were home on Christmas break when Blue heard about the Roll tide. The boat had taken a long run to tide the crew for the winter. It would run North for two weeks, Then East for four weeks, and then head home. Twelve weeks had past and the ship wasn’t back. She had exchanged letters with a packet as she turned to go East. The crew and ship all had been in good spirits. The letters were full of well wishes and stories from the crew, but neither crew nor ship was seen since.
The air was sharp and clear and the ground covered with snow crunched under my boots. I was taking a walk to ward off the cabin fever when I saw Blue sitting in my chair down by the water. I knew it was Blue as I walked up but I still had to ask ” Blue Alpha what are ya doing in my chair”. He didn’t look at me right away. He had a far off look in his eye like he was watching death dance or his ship sail. He turned slowly with no particular self awareness. He looked towards me but I wouldn’t say at me. Those eyes were looking through me I would swear to it. He said ” sorry mister I didn’t know it were yourn” and got up to leave. I had no intention of letting the boy freeze to death asked him to walk me home. It might have been kinder to let him freeze for his peril would cut through his very soul.